The Poor Boy Blues

Backgrounder: "The following song came to me while watching the local news last Tuesday night. I must have been suffering a fever because while nursing verses together my wife heard me cry out, where's Kate Young? Where's Kate Young?" gaharrison

Poor Boy with The Poor Boy Blues

1. I’m tired of buying groceries
from the ninety-nine cent aisle.
I’m tired of buying canned goods
that been dented for awhile.
I’d like to buy some new shoes
that seem to fit my feet.
I’d like folks to smile at me
like I’m on Easy Street...

Chorus:

...But I’m a poor boy,
But I’m a poor boy,
But I’m a poor, poor boy,
And I’ve got the poor boy blues.


2. I’m tired of eating wieners
without a shred of beef.
I’m tired of eating cabbages
with holes in every leaf.
I’d like to eat a slice of bread
that's not from the bargain bin.
And I’d like to eat a supper
that's just not a can of beans.

3. I’m tired of getting stuck in line
at each recession sale.
Sometimes I feel as useless
as a mop without a pail.
I’d like to trade my low-wage job
for one that is full time.
And then I’d buy a piece of steak
an’ not the Salisbury kind...

4. I’m tired of buying packages
someone else has opened first.
I’m tired of buying the cheapest beer
to help me quench my thirst.
I’d like to buy some new jeans
with a well-known label on,
And I’d like to have an extra ten
and a girl to spend it on...

gah

.

Prose: she and me

Backgrounder: “Two weeks ago my wife and I drove to Fenelon Falls together - a four-hour drive - to help take care of new twin grand-daughters. Shortly after arriving my wife of nearly 40 years was elbow-deep in diapers, bottles, formula, and lovely chatter with our son, daughter-in-law and Anna and Ella. I couldn’t help but think of our life together.” gaharrison

she and me

the whine of the bandsaw
the smell of fresh-cut cedar
and fine sawdust in his hair,
I notice them all
when I step into my
old husband’s workshop.
check under your hood, lady?
he says after he looks my way.


he always says that
he always says that
he always says that and
means the same thing
as when he first said it
forty years ago.
he smiles and trips
a familiar switch
inside my chest -
he and me.

***

she always knocks
on the screen door of my shop
before she steps inside.
she always knocks and
sometimes I jump - startled -
lost in thought.


check under your hood
seems the right thing to say
before she smiles and asks
if I’d like to stop for tea.
my throat is dusty,
tea would be fine,
I nod.

***

later, we spend time together.
we sit in comfortable chairs
inside my workshop,
we talk almost a perfect shorthand
and with rhyming tones.
we almost breathe as one
we almost breathe as one
she and me.

gah

.

My Restless Heart

Background: “After I learned a fourth chord on my guitar I branched out, got all fancy., and wrote a few songs a travelling man might sing. With my voice it’s important to know the way outta town.” gaharrison

My Restless Heart

1. I took a job in Kansas City,
I swept some floors and motel halls.
I soon moved on to better times,
I cleaned some basements, painted walls.

Chorus:

But when I earn a million dollars,
My restless heart will take some rest.
Might get it in my mind to come back home,
If I could settle down with you.

2. I took a job in Colorado,
I packed some bags and cut some hair.
I soon moved on to better times,
I sold some brooms and cooking ware.

3. I took a job in California,
I washed up dishes at a bar.
I soon moved on to better times,
I pumped some gas and sold some cars.

4. I travelled back to where I started,
I took a job just down your street.
I’ll soon move on to better times,
Don’t think there’s any chance we’ll meet.
But when I earn my million dollars,
My restless heart will take some rest.
Might get it in my mind to stay at home,
If I could settle down with you.

gah

.

Another Hit Single: Life in the Great Big City

Backgrounder: “I wrote this one so long ago I can’t recall if there was an incident I was witness to (or involved in) that prompted me to write this brilliant piece. However, after listening to a CBC Radio program yesterday re behaviours that occur on Toronto’s mass transit system I thought I’d dust it off.” gaharrison

Life in the Great Big City

1. My first trip to the city, got off the train,
Two guys said, “Can you spare a dime?”
I bent right down to open my pack,
Woke up next day flat on my back.
A policeman said, “Don’t look for pity!
Welcome to life in the great big city.”

Chorus:

Well, I lost my pants and my underwears,
I got roughed up, thrown down some stairs.
I lost my watch, some hard-earned money,
I’m almost naked, it ain’t even funny.
Policeman said, “Don’t look for pity!
Welcome to life in the great big city.”

2. I went to a movie, sat in the front row,
my neck was stiff after the show.
Went outside, could only look down.
Those two guys came back, throwed me around.
I cried for help, the crowd cried at me,
“Welcome to life in the great big city!”

3. Took a city bus, in Good Will pants,
spoke to a girl, thought I’d take a chance.
“’Scuse me, Miss, you got the time?”
She stole the rest of my stuff, left me one thin dime.
Yelled at the driver, he yelled at me.
“Welcome to life in the great big city!”

4. I used my dime, and phoned my Dad.
I heard his voice, I was really glad.
“It’s tough up here. What will I do?”
“It’s not my call. What will you do?”
I went for a walk, it dawned on me.
“Welcome to life in the great big city!”

gah

.

I Was the Last One To Go

Backgrounder: “I like cleaning up after parties and am usually the last one to go home. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.” gaharrison

I Was the Last One To Go

1. You called me last week, said, “Come over at nine.”
And if I had time, call a few friends of mine.
We planned to stay in, maybe watch some TV,
But after my friends left, I said, “Please dance with me.”

Chorus:

I was the last one to go, I was the last one to go,
We had the house to ourselves, no more movies to show.
You said, “Sure, we’ll dance when we put things away,
I was the last one to go, after you had your way.


2. We cleaned up the kitchen and filled up the sink,
These dishes won’t take long, I started to think.
But for each one I washed you brought even more,
Then you found all the dishes I hid behind the door.

3. I poured more hot water and started to clean,
I rolled up my sleeves, I was a scrubbing machine.
You said you’d be waiting for me to get done,
But I found you asleep as up came the sun.

4. I gave you a shake and you looked up at me
And said, “Who are you?” I said, “Hey, it’s me.”
“The last dish has been washed, and of that there’s no doubt.”
“Thanks a heck of a lot,” you said. “Now let yourself out.”

I was the last one to go, I was the last one to go,
We had the house to ourselves, no more movies to show.
You said, “Sure, we’ll dance when we put things away,
I was the last one to go, after you had your way.

GAH

I Ain’t the Bank

Backgrounder: “All my cracks about The Small Economy actually led to a brilliant song. No, my lovely wife doesn’t spend all my money. Some days it just enters my mind that we should buff up our savings account.” gaharrison

I Ain’t the Bank

1. Don’t spend my money, honey, I ain’t the bank.
Don’t spend my money, honey, ‘cause I’ve got you to thank...
For driving us to the poorhouse, straight down the 401.
You bought a big car, an SUV, you thought it’d be great fun.
Payments bigger than my cheque, well, this ain’t fun for me...so...
Don’t spend my money, honey, this ain’t fun for me.


["Even our cows look poor": photo GAH]

2. Don’t spend my money, honey, I ain’t the bank.
Don’t spend my money, honey, ‘cause I’ve got you to thank...
You drove my credit rating, straight down the 402.
You bought a house, with four bathrooms, less would never do.
I really never pee that much, you have spelled our doom...so...
Don’t spend my money, honey, you have spelled our doom.

3. Don’t spend my money, honey, I ain’t the bank.
Don’t spend my money, honey, ‘cause I’ve got you to thank...
You drove my little nest-egg, straight down the 403.
You filled our house with so much stuff, four big-screen TV’s.
I work so hard, no time to eat, you’re making my life rough...so...
Don’t spend my money, honey, you’re making my life rough.

4. Don’t spend my money, honey, I ain’t the bank.
Don’t spend my money, honey, ‘cause I’ve got you to thank...
You drove my small inher’tance, down Highway 404.
You bought new carpets and new drapes, I’ll have to work some more.
Can’t keep up with what you buy, our bank book’s in bad shape...so...
Stop spending money, honey, my bank book’s in bad shape.

5. Stop spending money, honey, I ain’t the bank.
Stop spending money, honey, ‘cause I’ve got you to thank...
You drove us to the poorhouse, down Highway 405.
You had another spending spree, I won’t get out alive,
I wonder if you’ve ever heard, that the best in life is free.
Stop spending money, honey, the best in life is free.

GAH

.

Yet Another Hit Single: Fetch the Wild Turkey

Backgrounder: “My oldest son and his wife are expecting twins at any minute. Thinking about the changes that they’ll face reminded me of a song I wrote years ago for times when guitars and camping whisky were present at a campfire.” g.a.harrison

Fetch the Wild Turkey

1. I lived in the city, I owned my own house,
The only thing missing was a wonderful spouse.
You lived in the country, we met at a dance,
After the hoe-down, we both took a chance.
I'll fetch the Wild Turkey, I'll pour you a drink,
It's out in the kitchen, it's under the sink.
Since I first met you my plans are all new,
No one in the country is prettier than you.

2. I sold my possessions, and moved to your farm,
Bought cows for your field, a horse for your barn.
We'd pick the wild lilies and drink from the creek,
We'd talk about babies, stay in bed for a week.
Let's fetch the Wild Turkey, let's pour us a drink,
It's out in the kitchen, it's under the sink.
Since I first met you, been changes in me,
But you're certainly pretty in your red negligee.


3. Got three kids in diapers, twins on the way,
We’ve had one each year, it’s tradition you say.
To have lots of children to inherit the farm,
Extra hands at the harvest to fill up the barn.
You fetch the Wild Turkey, you pour me a drink,
It's out in the kitchen, it's under the sink.
Since I first met you my money's gone down,
But you still look real pretty in your purple nightgown.

4. Now we got four dogs and a house full of cats,
My allergies have come back, the corn's full of rats.
The house needs a new roof, porch leans to the ri-eee-ght,
The crickets are so loud I can't sleep at night.
Go fetch the Wild Turkey, I'll have us a shot,
Having too many is better than not.
Since I first met you my fortunes are down, down, down,
But you look kind of 'purdy' in that ratty nightgown.

5. The kids are all dirty in hand-me-down clothes,
We only get water 'fit rains or it snows.
The well it run dried, the crops blowed away,
The cows are all scrawny, the dogs ran away.
Fetch the Wild Turkey, I need me a shot,
Having too many is better than not.
Since I first met you my bankin’s a wreck,
But in that old night gown you're prettier 'an heck.

6. My spellin' is bad, my grammar am rotten,
Please don't complain, from you it's been gotten.
My troubles are all big, my money is small,
Please stop complainin' 'cause you spent it all.
*Fetch the Wild Turkey, I need one more shot,
Having too many is better than not.
Since I first met you my life has gone black,
Now the front of your nightgown looks the same as the back.

GAH

***

Life don’t git that bad, do it?

.

Come On Over, I'm Over You

Backgrounder: “My wife and I have gone through hard times but never hard enough to end in divorce. Thirty-nines years later I still say, she’s a keeper. Her thoughts on the matter? I’m not exactly sure, but I bet it's half good. This song was written as a bit of fun about an unfunny topic.” gaharrison

Come On Over, I'm Over You

I get the pet dog, you get the cat,
I get the pet mouse, you get the rat.
I get the parakeet, you get the cage,
I get the parsley, you get the sage.
I get the whiskey I like to drink,
You get the Tupperware under the sink.
I packed all our stuff, divided by two.
So, come on over, I'm over you.

Chorus:

Come on over, I said we’re through.
Come on over, it’s sad but true.
I'm over you and your cold embrace,
I'm over you and your hard-luck face,
Come on over, see my new place.
And, pick up your boxes, I need the space.

I get the car, you get the truck,
I get the chicken, you get the duck.
I get the pots, you get the pans,
I get the blue box, you get the cans.
I get the couch with the pull-out bed,
You get the twelve-speed we kept in the shed.
I packed all our stuff, divided by two.
So, come on over, I'm over you.


[“Halfa this is yours too. Come on over”]

I get the coffee, you get the tea,
I get the radio, you get the TV.
I get the shoes, you get the clothes,
I get the garden, you get the hose.
I get the dress shirts and all of my pants,
You get the song, you get the dance.
I packed all our stuff, divided by two.
So, come on over, I'm over you.

I get some money back, you get your purse,
I get my freedom, you get the curse.
I get the roof tops you get the floor,
I get my leg room you get the door.
I get the high road, a bottle of wine,
You get the low road and half of what's mine.
I packed all our stuff, divided by two.
So, come on over, I'm over you.

Optional -

I get the helo pad, you get the yacht,
I get the gold bars, you get the stock.
I get the time-share in Boca Raton,
You get the mansion, the five acre lawn.
I get the Bentley, the cottage in France,
You get the beach house, the long picket fence.
Whatever we dreamed I divided by two.
Now, come on over, I'm over you.

GAH

***

Yeah, like the Bentley is ever going to happen.

Click here to read my latest column in The Londoner

.

Blue Moon

Backgrounder: “I wrote this song while going through a ‘Bill Monroe bluegrass’ phase. All I need to do now is learn how to play the mandolin or banjo.” gaharrison

Blue Moon

1. Borrowed two dollars from my mother,
borrowed five dollars from my pa.
Said the money was for groceries.
Instead, I spent it at the mall.
Borrowed ten dollars from my sister,
borrowed twenty from my gal,
Said the money paid my heat bill.
Instead, went drinking with a pal.

Chorus:

2. Blue moon shining in my window,
blue moon shining on the wall.
I’m sitting all alone at midnight,
Wondering why folks never call.
Blue moon shining in my window,
blue moon shining on the wall,
I lay down thinking of my loved ones,
they don't pay me mind at all.


["Blue moon shining in my window...": GAH]

3. Borrowed fifty from my brother,
borrowed a 'C' from Uncle Jack,
Said I had to buy a new suit,
had a job down at the track.
Borrowed two hundred from my grandma,
the same from a guy I met,
Said I had a sure-fire venture,
Translated means one final bet.

4. That last guy came back for his money,
I said, "I'm tapped out, my son."
He tapped me once, he tapped me twice,
he tapped me three times with his gun.
Borrowed two dollars from my mother,
borrowed five dollars from my pa.
Said, "I need a blood transfusion."
Haven't seen them since the fall.

Optional:

5. I lay here thinking of my loved ones,
they haven’t come by for awhile.
The nurses think that I’m an orphan,
they don’t ever see me smile.
I guess you shouldn’t borrow money,
not if you want to have a friend
When you’re walking through the valley,
when you’re getting near the end.

gah

.

A Dark, Cheap Motel

Backgrounder: “A lot of people seem to write songs about drinking too much whisky or beer. Why is that? I can’t speak for the others, but over the years I’ve learned that heavy drinkers spread a lot of pain around.” gaharrison

A Dark, Cheap Motel

1, I spent the night in a dark, cheap motel
'Cause I lost the keys to my house.
Once I stayed three days at a strange trailer park,
I forgot the name of my spouse.

Chorus:

Well, I don't drink lots but I sure pick my spots,
That's why I ended up here.
I must confess I should drink a lot less,
Or switch to low alcohol beer.


2. I spent the night in a dark, cheap motel,
For awhile I slept out in the hall.
I'd ordered a round, had the cash in my hand,
That's the last I seem to recall.

3. I spent the night in a dark, cheap motel,
I think on the downside of town.
A new friend from the bar took care of my car,
Which someday still may be found.

4. I spent the night in a dark, cheap motel,
I paid with my new Mastercard.
When I finally get home no more will I roam,
I sure make this life so hard.

gah

.

Bowling Shoe Blues

Backgrounder: “I think this is the first rhyming poem I put together that I intended to sing publicly. I can still remember the tune. As a participant in a summer course for teachers I had to come up with a short presentation for some reason or other and Bowling Shoe Blues was born. I think I ended up standing in front of a class in my Speedo singing Yellow Submarine with three other guys. Truth be told, we didn’t win any prizes.” gaharrison

Bowling Shoe Blues

1. Why just the other day I went bowling with Ray,
We met a couple fine ladies and I knew right away,
That one girl was for me, I fell in love don’t you see,
Now every Tuesday night I like to bowl with Lucy.
I put both shoes in the closet. One’s gone - I musta los’ it.
I got the black and white, one red stripe bowling shoe blues.

Chorus:

I got the bowling shoe blues, I got the bowling shoe blues,
I got the black white red stripe bowling shoe blues.
Bowling shoe blues, bowling shoe blues,
I got the black white red stripe bowling shoe blues.
I put them both in the closet. One’s gone - I musta los’ it.
I got the black and white, one red stripe bowling shoe blues.


2. Ray is honking at the gate, he doesn’t like to be late.
He’s got a girlfriend too and so he doesn’t want to wait.
Oh what can I do? I’m starting to stew.
I’m going to miss my girl ‘cause I can’t find my shoe.
I put them both in the closet. One’s gone - I musta los’ it.
I got the black and white, one red stripe bowling shoe blues.

3. I picked one shoe off the floor and I ran out the door,
I want to see my Lucy so can’t look anymore.
Ray had left with his truck I got such terrible luck,
So I ran down the block in one shoe and one sock.
I put them both in the closet. One’s gone - I musta los’ it.
I got the black and white, one red stripe bowling shoe blues.

4. Finally got to the lanes, Lucy started to complain,
“I don’t like getting stood up,” she said, “I hope that is plain.”
Then she looked at my feet, I told the story complete,
And now she’s hugging me and saying, “Hey, ain’t he sweet!”
I put them both in the closet. One’s gone - I musta los’ it.
I got the black and white, one red stripe bowling shoe blues.

GAH

***

No great loss, eh? Yellow Submarine wins.

.

Are You a Rich Man?

Backgrounder: “This song was written about seven years ago but is definitely linked to experiences from the sixties. I read and wrote poetry then, listened to Bob Dylan, enjoyed single malt whisky (beer just wasn’t hip enough for me) and fell in love about every three days. After 39 years of marriage (Aug. 8 anniversary) the answer to the question is yes.” gaharrison

Are You a Rich Man?

1. We met at some party of an old friend of mine,
I was off in a corner just putting in time.
When the smell of perfume, the warm brush of skin,
Awakened my senses, I was glad she walked in.

Chorus:

She thought I was special, more than I was,
The first time we met she was feelin’ the buzz,
From a single malt whisky that I had supplied.
“Are you a rich man?” she asked.
“Yes I am,” I replied.


["Peace and love from the sixties": photo GAH]

2. We went to the kitchen, she was looking for ice.
She asked, “Would you like some?” I said, “You smell nice.”
She laughed at my answer, so I chuckled right back,
If she’d wanted refinement
I would have tried some of that.

3. We were soon tangled up on a warm pile of coats.
She asked, “Are you serious?” I was thinking wild oats.
But we made an excuse, took a cab to my place,
Though I felt my apartment
would be a disgrace.


["I like Dylan, do you?": photo GAH]

4. After seeing my bookcase she said, “You like poetry too.”
“Have you any good music? I like Dylan, do you?”
We spent the night on the couch with the stereo on.
Got married that summer
and the riches live on.

GAH

.

She Had a Safety Pin

Backgrounder: “This song was inspired by a movie about a May - December romance. At least, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Anyway, the song isn’t about me and a younger woman because I’ve never worked for ‘Al’s Plumbing’. And I don’t bowl five-pin anymore. But if I did...” G.A. Harrison

She Had a Safety Pin

1. She saw me sitting at the bowling alley
and aimed her question at me.
"Do you make house-calls this time of night?"
"For you ma'am, yessiree."
I paid my tab, she tugged my arm
and asked me about my fee.
"I had some luck at five-pin tonight
so for you ma'am, tonight is free."

Chorus:

She had a safety pin stuck in her cheek
and I had a rip in my jeans.
I'd like to say it was love at first sight
but I don't know what that means.
She had a safety pin stuck in her cheek
and I had a rip in my jeans.
And I'm going to say that I had more fun
than a boy who was in his teens.


2. I grabbed my keys, we left Fleetwood Bowl,
and I offered her a ride.
"I only live, like, two blocks away.
We can walk there fast," she sighed.
She set a quick pace, I followed behind.
"Why don't we run?" I cried.
I took the lead for about thirty steps
but my lungs almost burst inside.

3. She said, "Over here, you crazy old man,
this is my place on the right."
My neck was hot and my shirt was wet,
I must have looked a sight.
But she said, "Come in, I'll lead the way,
first I'll just get the light.
My bathroom's down this narrow hall,
and, man, I need a bath tonight."

4. I was about to say a bath was okay
when she pointed to the drain.
"I'm glad you plumbers were bowlin’ tonight
‘cause for these things I have no brain."
I recalled then the ad on my shirt,
'Al's Plumbing', of local fame.
I rolled up my sleeves, gave the plunger a heave,
that was the end of the game.

gah

.

I Could Search the World Over

Backgrounder: "An older friend of mine almost didn't make it out of the hospital recently, so I wrote a song for "next time." I'm pretty sure there will be a next time for him and all my other friends. And when I search for them - they'll be somewhere else." gaharrison

I Could Search the World Over

1. I could search the world over but won’t find my friend.
I could search from the front door and right to the end.
I am sad to be told that he’s gone from the land.
I could search the world over but I won’t find my friend.

2. The thoughts of my friend fill up my head.
I wish in his place it was me who was dead.
I feel in my mind it was too quick an end.
I could search the world over but I won’t find my friend.


3. I will look to the heavens and call out his name.
And from a high hill he will answer the same.
He will show me the place where he lays down his head.
He will tell me we’re brothers and that he’s not dead.

4. We will sing as we did when we were both young.
We will dance to the music from dusk until dawn.


We will clap both our hands and raise up a cheer.
We never lose good friends and those we hold dear.

5. I could search the world over but I won’t find my friend.
I must look to the heavens where he lives to the end.
* We lose and we win in the wink of an eye.
We never lose good friends they wait but on high. (* repeat)

.

Prose: backpack canoe: conclusion - ‘North Tea reflections’

Backgrounder: “Three days and nights on North Tea gave birth to countless memories. When our group gets together to talk about past trips the stories spill out of us in handfuls, like beans from a burlap sack.” gaharrison

North Tea reflections

coffee in the morning
has a heightened taste
brought to boil
over an open flame.

after a sound sleep
on a pine needle mattress
cold clean water cuts
short the morning dip.

tarp water is turned aside
by a hastily dug
shallow trench
around my tent.

adult loons
patient and protective
are wise diving instructors
for their eager young.

wooden box crappers
havens for hardy mosquitoes
open to the elements
and passing paddlers.


crows as big as barns
chatter loudly for hours
to pass the time
in the treetops.

chicken noodle soup
four for a dollar
a satisfying noon meal
on a cool rock bench.

fajitas, steaks, salads,
store-bought lasagna
catch jealous eyes
and take the culinary prize.

on warm evenings
we scout for moose we tip canoes
and lanterns left in trees
guide stragglers home.



Catch more posts at It Strikes Me Funny by G. Harrison

.

Prose: backpack canoe, more than a trilogy part 3 - ‘moose at Manitou’

Backgrounder: “While camping near North Tea Lake in Algonquin Park several years ago I saw my first moose. Don tried to shoot it (with his camera) but lost his balance and camera equipment during the process. I wrote about the event and still describe moose as very agile for their size.” gaharrison

moose at Manitou


first lone moose
spotted near a cedar shore
head visible above water
leisurely tearing leaves
from a fallen branch.
the canoes drifted too close
and the moose soon bolted
on long black legs
into safe scrub brush.

second sighting, on Manitou Lake
huge muscular unassuming beasts
perhaps near-sighted
but so alert -
twitching ears caught every sound.
two stood knee deep
in long marsh grass
five canoes, silent, still,
approach cautiously
‘til the spell is broken
we exchange stares
with odd silent creatures.
did they hear us breathe?
only a few agile strides needed -
the two disappeared.

gah

More posts about daily life at It Strikes Me Funny

***

My last moose encounter occured in 2007 while motorcycling on the Trans-Canada highway between Wawa and White River. A lone moose seemed to be the only inhabitant of that lonely stretch of highway.

Have you enjoyed a moose sighting lately? Where?

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Prose: backpack canoe, more than a trilogy part 2 - ‘first day out’

Backgrounder: “Somewhere near the middle of North Tea Lake, while sitting in canoes rented from “No Way Out Adventures”, our group of canoes stopped so that weary occupants, myself among them, could take a welcome break. Black licorice sticks never tasted sweeter. My shoulders had never been so sore or hot to the touch. It all seemed worth it an hour later when on dry land.” gaharrison

first day out

breakfast, fresh at “no way out”
equal parts stiff cool breeze
and soft-boiled eggs
the mosquitoes thankfully took a break.
large loads of freight
every item precious
bring anxious smiles as canoes,
sitting much lower in the water now,
jockey heavily at the gate.
the first energetic push,
past lily pads
and long snake grass,
stretches every muscle
through endless twists and turns
to the first portage.


lunches and black licorice
quickly unpacked, are eaten
on a small outcrop of rock
backs are hunched ‘gainst
a cold wet wind.
with white caps to fight
all heads are down
hot spots tear at tired shoulders
from the hard grip on paddles.
but slowly we draw closer
to our island home
wild point of rock and pine.

... to be continued

gah

.

Prose: backpack canoe, more than a trilogy part 1 - anticipation

Backgrounder: “In an ongoing effort to put all of my song lyrics, poetry and prose in one place, get discovered and make a million dollars (the price of a decent cup of coffee works for me as well) I dragged ‘backpack canoe’ out of the closet. If it was in three parts I’d call it a trilogy from North Tea Lake, Algonquin Park, northern Ontario, circa 1993. The group I travelled and camped with are friends to this day.” gaharrison

anticipation

gotta hit the johnny cash
gotta hit the road

with a heavy nylon backpack -
every pocket full
tightly zippered shut
stashing plastic jars
spices, syrup, porridge,
rice, pop-tarts and pasta
hungry-man size only
a five day supply


gotta hit the johnny cash
gotta hit the road

with a twelve foot canoe of cedar -
both ends snugged down
with yellow nylon lines
honda stuffed front and back
pointing north to Sundridge
five hours to Algonquin
adventure at North Tea awaits

money quick at johnny cash
gotta hit the road

gah

***

FYIs - years ago, some cash machines were called johnny cash machines

.

Prose: six day hike

Backgrounder: “More from ‘backpack canoe.’ I’ll attach a photo from Lake Superior if I can find one with the right mood - one that relates to beautiful scenery and sore shoulders.” gaharrison

six day hike

sun’s last ray
darkly shadowing
ragged jack pine
and steel black rock,
caught my eye
at eve,

trek weary from climbing
Superior’s steep shore,
the rolled bed
and stale bread
dropped from my back;
I did not wish
to ever leave.

gah

.

Prose: North of Wiarton

Backgrounder: “This is another piece from ‘backpack canoe’, a small booklet of prose, introduced earlier with ‘Lion’s Head Parts 1 and 2. I bought 2.75 acres of land north of Wiarton many years ago and sold it to a friend two years ago. Since selling the land, I’ve visited the area to help him survey, clear and build upon the land, and will take him up on his invitation to use his cabin any time. The Bruce peninsula is a magical place.” gaharrison

north of Wiarton

last year’s crew
banded together again -
explored, discovered
the peninsula’s hidden coves
secret cedar shores;


voices grew quieter
as city thoughts
well-worn habits
slid away unnoticed,
as wider gazes
fresher smiles
grew commonplace.


the bruce pen’s crisp skies
cool stout breezes
swept us home -
to canvas tents, hot fires
and close companions.

gah

.

Prose: Childhood Memories - Thin times in a small town

Backgrounder: “I mention a few lessons, in my next column (May 6), that my mother tried to teach me when I was a young boy. I think, by looking back, I jogged a few other memories too. The following prose was written just a few minutes ago.” gaharrison

thin times in a small town

where did she find
the money, that young mother
of mine, for the brand new
red CCM bicycle for
my birthday?

my brother and three sisters
never thought or felt
our family was poor.
but we knew -
if we wanted something -
we had better be prepared
to work for it.

God, what a good lesson
to learn as a young boy.

My dad had me try
one or two used bikes.
Tim Body’s didn’t fit me well
and it was hard to pedal.
I would have worked hard
for something better.

But, on my birthday,
after opening a few presents,
my mother told me
I wasn’t done yet
and said I should look
behind a tall bookcase
that hid the front door
from where I stood.

I looked and,
quite unexpectedly,
fell in love with
my new red bike.

GAH

***


I lovingly tip my hat to the wee girl whose father died young, who never had her own new red bike.

.

Prose: Lion’s Head Part 2

[Please read Pt 1 and backgrounder below for context]

Lion’s Head Part 2

later, stinging smoke
brushed our faces
as newly collected timber
odds and ends
caught a stubborn flame
and cold pale hands
held tin mugs of broth
close to the chin.


the driving rain
the roar and crash
of the nearby shore
and clothes like heavy damp sacks
made us thankful for
some small shelter
on a formidable coast.

we seemed so fragile
against the immediate power
of wind and rain
at Lion’s Head.

GAH

.

Prose: Lion’s Head Part 1

Backgrounder: “I was one of three tired hikers that tackled a fair-sized piece of the Bruce Trail 15 years ago and got caught in an unexpected storm. I put a few lines about that experience and a canoe trip into a wee book called ‘backpack canoe.’ Another hike is planned this summer - my first solo. So, more brilliant prose [insert laugh track here] will follow.” gaharrison

Lion’s Head Part 1

three tired hikers
could barely huddle
‘neath the rocky point
facing the granite shores
the rounded boulder beaches
of Georgian Bay.

the grey green crag
an ancient prominence
like crumbling brick
gave bare hard shelter
from quick icy pellets
hurled from a sullen
Georgian sky.


[Bruce Trail, Lion's Head: photo gah]

only minutes before
hot sore sweating backs
were gratefully relieved
by full packs set aside
by carefree dives
into calm cold waters.
a black water snake
a slithering ‘s,’ head erect,
had chased us - we gingerly
stepping over smoothed stones -
to higher ground.

a lightning crack
and strong sudden gusts
pushed us inland.

[to be continued]

GAH

.

Now That They’re Gone

Backgrounder: “This is a short song, a reminder to treat my friends and family well, and to let them know they mean a lot to me - while I have the opportunity. Part of the song’s inspiration came from learning a fellow teacher (and good friend when we taught together) had died, in the same hospital my dad passed away in, and I didn’t even know he was ill. And after each of my parents died I quickly learned how much I missed them.” gaharrison

Now That They’re Gone

1. I miss my friend now that he’s gone,
I miss him so now that he’s gone.
The Reverend told me that he passed on.
And he went to heaven far too young.
Yes, he went to heaven far too young.

I miss my Mama now that she’s gone,
I miss her so now that she’s gone.
The Reverend told me that she passed on.
And she went to heaven far too young.
Yes, she went to heaven far too young.

2. I miss my Papa now that he’s gone,
I miss him so now that he’s gone.
I know things now I didn’t know then,
And I’d like to tell him he is my friend.
Yes, I’d like to tell him he is my friend.

I miss all these folks now that they’re gone,
I miss them so now that they’re gone.
I know things now I didn’t know then,
And I’d like to tell them they are good friends.
Yes, I’d like to tell them they are good friends.

GAH

.

Prose: You Thought it was Hallowe’en

Backgrounder: “While looking for an old wedding photo I found this piece of prose from my university days. It was published in The Gazette (University of Western Ontario) on Feb. 14, 1969, and bears some truth, though it isn’t a very fitting sentiment for Valentines Day. It contains my first reference to whisky, but not my last.” gaharrison


["My university days": March, 1969]

you thought it was Hallowe’en

you thought it was Hallowe’en
all last month.
ever since I first met you,
I thought you were all
dressed up for nothing.

the unmasking took place last
night, and you looked quite
pretty without your mask.

but you were not what
the game had called for.


[Artwork - Tom Rossiter: photo GAH]

(Hallowe’en was over and
the two went tripping home
with an empty bottle of scotch
under their arm,
and when all the ghosts
and night creatures began to play,
she melted into their midst.)

I have not heard from you,
or seen you, since.

GAH

.

Down To My Toes

Backgrounder: “This is the second or third song I sang in public, other than around a campfire. The melody came before the lyrics on this one. The nice easy tune took me back to the time I first met my wife, and 39 years later we still keep each other’s feet warm at night.” gaharrison

Down To My Toes


[August 8, 1970]

I don’t know how
the power of love grows,
I just know it went down
to my toes when I met you.
Oh, love went down to my toes.
I don’t know why
you caught my eye,
Was it something you said
when you walked on by?
I just know I turned
and you caught my eye.

Chorus:

I don’t pretend
to know it all, girl.
I think what I know
is really quite small.
I’m just glad you stopped to chat
I’m glad our love
started off like that,
And I know love went
down to my toes.

2. I don’t know what I said
when we laughed
I just know things happened
real fast when I met you.
Oh, things happened so fast.
I don’t know
what possessed me to say,
That we get together
the very next day. You said yes.
I’m glad you said yes.

3. I don’t know how you could
hit me like this
Or turn me around
with one little kiss
But you did, you hit me like this.
I don’t know where
we go from here,
I just know I want to be
near when I call you,
I want to be near.

GAH

I Don’t Have to Say Nothing Again

Backgrounder: “This was the first song I sang in front of a microphone. Even though it was recorded in a friend’s basement I was as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof. Thankfully, my friend is a monster guitar player and made the production sound pretty good. The song itself is from the imagination only.” gaharrison

I Don’t Have to Say Nothing Again

1. I don’t have to tell you you’re special,
I don’t have to tell you I care.
I don’t have to say
you look pretty tonight,
and I like what you’ve done with your hair.
I don’t have to call you my sweetheart,
or say I’ll be true to the end.
‘Cause you’re spending your time
with somebody else,
I don’t have to say nothing again.

Chorus:

No, nothing again, nothing again,
I don’t have to say nothing again.
‘Cause you’re spending your time
with somebody else,
I don’t have to say nothing again.


["This floozie broke my heart": courtesy photo link to Fortune's Pawn]

2. I don’t have to tell you I’m lonely,
and pick up the phone now and then.
I don’t have to tell you
I’m hoping ‘gainst hope,
you’ll stop dancing with the boys in the band.
I don’t have to say that you broke my heart
by sleeping with some other man.
I don’t have to tell you,
you drove us apart,
I don’t have to say nothing again.

3. I don’t have to tell you I’m crazy,
and forgive all the things that you’ve done.
I don’t have to tell you
I’m trying real hard
To find ways that we can have fun.
I don’t have to tell you I need you,
and want you to come home tonight.
I don’t have to tell you
that I still love you.
I don’t have to say nothing again.

GAH

.

My Life Without You

Backgrounder: “It sounds like I carry around a heavy load of regret. I don’t. I occasionally remember times (like most people, I'm sure) when I could have been a better person, and reflect on what the absolute worst consequences might have been. Also, I know several people who have gone through a divorce, and it ain't pretty.” gaharrison

1. I don’t know why
I’m all set to cry about you.
I don’t know how
I care ‘bout you now like I do.
I must confess
I never guessed that you’d walk out the door.
I failed to see
what my life would be without you.


I won’t get a chance
to have one last dance or hold you.
I won’t hear our song
and then sing along without you.
I didn’t believe
you’d ever leave and never return.
I failed to see
what my life would be without you.

Chorus:

Now I live all alone
in a old country home without you.
The phone doesn’t ring,
I can’t hear birds sing without you.
When I go for a walk
I miss how we talked like so many times before.
I failed to see
what my life would be without you.

2. Now that you’ve gone
not much gets done without you.
Life doesn’t seem fair
and I don’t really care what I do.
Night seems to come fast
and I dream it’s the last that I’ll sleep all alone.
I failed to see
what my life would be without you.

GAH

.

Life is Better with You

Life is Better with You - Backgrounder: “So, what do you give a girl at Christmas... especially a girl who already has everything? I mean, my wife already gets the house, car, life insurance, my pension, RRSPs and hockey card collection when I die. Oh yeah, and my workshop and all my tools. So, what else can I give her?” gaharrison

1. You are the best of my friends.
Life can be a long, lonely road,
easier when you share the load
and I’m walking with you.

You are the first of those near,
the closest of those I hold dear.
Time often gets slipping away,
you help me live for today
when I’m walking with you.

Chorus;

Like diamonds in the night sky
I see love shine in your eye.
You treat me better than best,
I’m home when you lean on my chest.
Oh, I know I’ve got a good life
and it’s better with you.


2. You are the best of my friends.
Life can be a dark, dreary place,
brighter when I see your face
and I’m talking with you.

You guard the life that we’ve made,
make sure our memories don’t fade.
Time often gets marching along,
you help me feel that I’m strong
when I’m talking with you.

3. You are the best of my friends.
Life can be a challenging trial,
lighter when I see you smile
and I’m laughing with you.

You’ve been much more than a friend,
our good times don’t seem to end.
Time often seems short in a way,
you make life fuller each day
when I’m laughing with you.

GAH

.

Don’t Call Me Late for Supper, Mabelene

Backgrounder: “This song was inspired a few years ago by a simple Lyle Lovett tune, though I forget which one. My wife is partial to his tunes so I tried to put a song together she would like. I succeeded on two counts - we both like it.” gaharrison

1. We met at an old country store.
I packed her bags and held open the door.
Well, we started to chat,
I learned her name after that.
Oh, Mabelene was a dish and much more.

One day I walked her back to her house.
Her folks were gone, we held hands on the porch.
I got lost in her eyes,
and two slices of pie,
And the smell of perfume in her hair.


["Elderberry pie - the way to my heart.": photo link]
Chorus:

Don’t call me late for supper, Mabelene.
You are the sweetest girl I’ve ever seen.
You sure are good-looking
and I love what you’re cooking.
Don’t call me late for supper, Mabelene.

2. We got married when we were nineteen.
Her Mama said, “Boy, don’t you treat her mean.”
I said, “You count on me.”
That was 1963.
I can’t live without my Mabelene.

At home she’s in charge of the food.
If I cook it don’t taste half as good.
When Mabelene fills my plate,
a big smile fills my face.
She’s the best cook in our neighbourhood.

3. Mabelene bought a book from Par-ee.
Each day she tries a French recipe.
I eat all I’m able
then lean across the table.
For dessert I always kiss Mabelene.

At night I kiss both of her hands.
‘Cause they taste like her strawberry jam.
And she comes to no harm
when I nibble on her arm.
Mabelene’s the sweetest girl in the land.

GAH

***

Any other Lyle Lovett fans out there?

.

The Easy Life Ain’t Mine

Backgrounder: “More hard times. Really, I don’t go to bars or sit up late staring into the bottom of a glass. But I know a bit about workin’ for the man and yearning for a simpler life.” gaharrison

1. I don’t like that you left me
because of the friends I choose.
I don’t like staying up passed midnight
with more heartache I can’t lose.
Oh, when I step out on my front porch
with a bottle in my hand.
I see I’m flying pretty high
but I can’t see where I’ll land.


Chorus:

Girl, the simple life ain’t easy,
I don’t even own my car.
I spend my nights reflecting
in a glass inside the bar.
Oh, oh, oh, snoozers, losers, are friends of mine,
and we cannot tell the time.
The simple life ain’t easy
and the easy life ain’t mine.

2. I don’t like all them hours
spent working for the man.
I don’t like paying rent each month
on someone else’s land.
Oh, I’d like a small bit for you and me,
really nothing more than that.
But after years of working hard
I’ll tell you where I’m at.

3. I don’t like that I’m growing old
and living on my own.
I don’t like drinkin’ whisky
just staring at the phone.
Oh, if you ever give me one more shot
at turning my life around.
I’ll try to be like when we met,
keep both feet on the ground.

GAH

.

I’ll Get Ready When the Party is Done

Backgrounder: “True story: A few years ago my wife and I went to a party that seemed to last forever because of stories, songs, guitars and Scotch whisky. I admit, I stayed too long.” gaharrison

1. After talking with friends
I think I’ll get up and go home.
After talking with friends
I think I’ll get up and go home.
I’ll get ready when
the talking is done.

I see that you’re waiting,
your coat is hung over your arm.
I see that you’re waiting,
your coat is hung over your arm.
I’ll get ready when
the talking is done.


Chorus:

It’s this time of night
that you’ve learned to hate,
You want to go home now
but I don’t think that it’s late.
I think I’ll get ready when
the talking (2. singing, 3. drinking) is done.

2. After singing some songs
I think I’ll get up, get my coat. [repeat]
I’ll get ready when
the singing is done.

I see that you’re fretting,
you’re already half out the door. [repeat]
I’ll get ready when
the singing is done.

3. After drinking this whisky
I think I’ll get up find my shoes. [repeat]
I’ll get ready when
the drinking is done.

I see that you’ve left me,
you’ve gone and headed for home. [repeat]
I’ll get ready when
the drinking is done.

GAH

Squirrel Stew from a Mason Jar

Backgrounder: “Last week, while building a birdhouse in my workshop, I heard a toe-tapping tune on CBC radio. The words “I eat squirrel stew from a Mason jar” popped into my head. Yesterday I teased out the following recession anthem. I think it’s brilliant.” gaharrison

1. I eat squirrel stew from a Mason jar,
Though that’s not the way things usually are.


I drive to the store in an old used car,
Can’t afford another, hope it takes me far.
Since I lost my job
the world is upside down.
Been doing more with less
like other folks in town.

Chorus:

I eat squirrel stew, I’m living small.
I buy used clothes and that’s not all.
I use a clothesline to dry my old blue jeans,
And now I know what sticking to a budget means.
I gave up BBQ-ing
because steak’s not cheap,
And what I’ve been sowing
I now must reap.

2. I made a solar oven to save on natural gas,
I cook up pots of oatmeal and make it last.
Now just like my old Papa I’ll eat anything,
I’m using Mama’s recipe for Tuna a la King.


But since I lost my job
tuna has been pretty rare.
Been doing more with less
like my closest neighbours are.

3. I bought more things on credit than I can count,
My debt was growing faster than my bank account.
Easy money flowed out of every corner bank,
For all my credit cards I have lots of folks to thank.
But since I lost my job
I’m cutting to the bone.
Been doing more with less
and I’m not alone.

GAH

***

Squirrel stew, Mason jars, living small, recession... they do go together, don't they?

.

Patti’s in the Kitchen, Gordie’s at the Till

Backgrounder: “In my search for the perfect job I tried baking muffins and pouring coffee at The Little Red Roaster for six months. What did I learn? Though the morning started way too early I managed the crowds pretty well until my shift ended at 10 a.m. After I’d earned enough for a bigger motorcycle I hit the road. And that part was perfect.” gaharrison

1. I found me a diner, the food is always great,
The price is good and low, here’s how it operates.
The place runs but one way, you better know the rules,
Patti always does the cooking and Gordie doesn’t suffer fools.
If you ask for an order in a fussy tone of voice,
Gordie points toward the front door while the regulars rejoice.
If you want to use the debit for $1.29,
Start looking for a toonie and step on outta line.

Chorus:

Patti’s in the kitchen, Gordie’s at the till,
She’s cooking up your breakfast, he’s ringing up the bill.
They been running this old diner since 1963,
Eggs are always over easy, and the second cup is free.


2. If you act kinda frantic, say you’re in a rush,
Gotta drive across town, maybe catch a bus.
Patti hollers from the kitchen, loud enough for all,
“If you’re looking just for fast food you can get it at the mall.”
If you say your eggs are runny or the coffee is too hot,
If you think the ham is too sweet and the sticky buns are not.
Gordie points to the big sign hanging on the wall.
“Patti only does home cooking or she doesn’t cook at all.”

3. When you come for the first time it’d really be a shame,
If you ask for skinny lattes or things with funny names.
Gordie will assure you he’ll give it a good try,
Then steer you toward Patti’s elderberry pie.
There aren’t many diners than run along like this,
Where you’ll see the cook and cashier sometimes share a kiss.
But it’s open still on Main St. in my old hometown,
You’ll find me pouring coffee and hear me sing this song.

GAH

***

Though I love old diners I don't think I could handle a busy pace. You?

.

Prose: You will laugh and know

The wise words of Wendell Berry, American poet and farmer, were brought to my attention recently while reading Entries, a book of prose published in 1994. One phrase, “we belong to one story”, from the piece below struck a cord in me.



The Blue Robe 



How joyful to be together, alone
as when we first were joined
in our little house by the river
long ago, except that now we have

each other, as we did not then;

and now instead of two stories fumbling
to meet, we belong to one story

that the two, joining, made. And now

we touch each other with the tenderness

of mortals, who know themselves:

how joyful to feel the heart quake

at the sight of a grandmother,
old friend in the morning light,

beautiful in her blue robe!

by Wendell Berry

Backgrounder: “Mr. Berry’s poem reminded me that a grandmother walks quietly past my side of the bed every morning, in her own blue robe, trying not to wake me. She seldom succeeds. After 38 years together we now run by the same internal clock.” gaharrison


You will laugh and know

when I was a young man
I wrote long poems for you.
now that I am older
I write a song or two,
and hope the lines
though short on heat
won’t miss a beat
but catch you by surprise.
and you will laugh and know
our youth is in our eyes.

gah









.

You’re A Perfect Picture

Backgrounder: “When I sing this song I’m sure my wife, formerly a brunette, wonders if I’m stalking one of the neighbours. No, I’m not. But it’s funny where a simple tune and vivid imagination can lead.” gaharrison

1. You’re a perfect picture.
Long blond hair, old gray sweater.
Faded jeans, a size too small,
My eyes can’t leave your face at all.

* I could watch you, watch you all day long.
You’re a perfect picture,
And girl, you never treat me wrong. (* repeat)


["Black high heels show off your legs"]

2. You’re my guilty pleasure.
I thirst for you like hidden treasure.
When our eyes meet I hold my breath,
I’m lost all day I must confess.

* I get thinking, thinking ‘bout you all day long.
You’re my guilty pleasure.
And girl, you never treat me wrong. (* repeat)

3. You’re my secret passion.
You pass my house in the latest fashion.
Black high heels show off your legs,
Words won’t come quick but I can beg.

* I get dreaming, dreaming, ‘bout you all day long.
You’re my secret passion.
And girl, you never treat me wrong. (* repeat)

GAH

.

Lordie Lordie

Backgrounder: “I love singing this song. It comes from my desire to be a good egg and keep the peace at home for another 38 years.” gaharrison

1. You ended my life,
then twisted the knife,
Left me nothing but pain.
I was down on my luck,
you stole off in my truck
And shacked up with my brother again.
When I laid down my head,
on our half empty bed,
It smelled like the scene of the crime.
Hanky-panky, I swear it’s the end of the line.


[My younger brother and I. Sure, he looks harmless enough: circa 1953]

Chorus:

Lordie Lordie, I sure drank a snoot-full tonight.
Lordie Lordie, I sure look a horrible sight.
I fell down some stairs,
ripped my new underwears,
And I smell like cheap whisky and beer.
Lordie Lordie, it’s been the worst night of the year.

2. I fell in with friends,
who’d met similar ends,
And had pockets as deep as a well.
They said, “Our love-life stinks
so we’re buying the drinks.”
I said, “Guys, your plan suits me well.”
We emptied the kegs
into our hollow legs,
The police had to settle us down,
Heebee-geebees, I woke up ten miles outta town.

3. Stumbled ‘round until three,
barely able to see,
Still troubled you slept with my kin.
But I’ve made my mistakes
and there’s more that I’ll make,
So can we start over again?
Please come back tonight,
you know I won’t bite,
I’ll make you feel right at home.
Holy-moley, I don’t want to end up alone.

GAH

.

Running Out of Rope

Backgrounder: "My wife of 38 years wondered what inspired this song. I've observed that late-night bars can be sad and lonely places for some people." gaharrison

1. If you come to the bar
and you drive your own car
I’m the guy sitting there on the right.
If you’ve got several itches
and one or two hit you
I might be your friend for the night.

* ’Cause I don’t want you sitting alone.
I won’t say stuff you hear at home.
I don’t have much money,
but I’ll try to be funny
And I’m not a man without hope. (*repeat)
One day I’ll just run out of rope.


[Photo link]

2. If our talk starts to ramble
I may start to gamble
To keep you there at my side.
I’ll tell a few stories
about my past glories
I’ll try not to tell many lies.

* ’Cause I don’t want you leavin’ too soon.
You’re the prettiest girl (now) in the room.
I don’t have much charm,
but you won’t come to harm
And I’m not a man without hope. (* repeat)
One day I’ll just run out of rope.

3. When you say that you’re done
and you’ve got to run,
I’ll find my last ten dollar bill.
I’ll say, “We’ve had the rest
now let’s try the best,
The night is pretty young still.”

* ’Cause I don’t want to sit all alone,
When I leave there’s no one at home.
I don’t have much going,
the (damn) whiskey’s been flowing
But I’m not a man without hope. (*repeat)

I’m half down that slippery slope,
One day I’ll just run out of rope.

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Mother Goose’s New World

Backgrounder: "Sometimes, as individuals or countries, our priorities get severely out of whack and I feel future generations will suffer as a result. Joni Mitchell said it right in one of her songs." gaharrison

1. Little Boy Blue, come blow your horn,
there’s an SUV hogging the road.
I barely survive when I go for a drive,
every highway is feeling the load.


Then there’s Jack Horner who lives at the corner,
his huge truck blots out the sun.
He says it’s no lark to back up and park
and the price of gas ain’t no fun.

Chorus:

We won’t know what we’re missing
‘til it’s gone. (repeat)
Joni Mitchell got it right, we pave paradise
and we put up a damn parking lot.
Do we live in a nation
or a huge corporation?
We should all have a say
should we not?

2. Little Miss Muffet sits on her tuffet,
but she’s been quite depressed for awhile.
She was handed some pills to cure all her ills,
now she’s wearing a pale yellow smile.
Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall,
and he landed right smack on his head.
He faced hours of doom in a packed waitin’ room.
His wife cried, They must want you dead.

3. Jack used to be nimble, used to be quick,
but his breathing’s been going downhill.
He finds it harder to talk and go out for a walk
‘cause the smog warning ain’t lifted still.
Then there’s Jack Sprat he’s drowning in fat,
and fast food damaged his heart.
The Great Lakes are old, fresh water got sold.
It’ll cost you 10 bucks at Wal-Mart.

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