Friday, August 21, 2009

Come On Over, I'm Over You

Backgrounder: “My wife and I have gone through hard times but never hard enough to end in divorce. Thirty-nines years later I still say, she’s a keeper. Her thoughts on the matter? I’m not exactly sure, but I bet it's half good. This song was written as a bit of fun about an unfunny topic.” gaharrison

Come On Over, I'm Over You

I get the pet dog, you get the cat,
I get the pet mouse, you get the rat.
I get the parakeet, you get the cage,
I get the parsley, you get the sage.
I get the whiskey I like to drink,
You get the Tupperware under the sink.
I packed all our stuff, divided by two.
So, come on over, I'm over you.

Chorus:

Come on over, I said we’re through.
Come on over, it’s sad but true.
I'm over you and your cold embrace,
I'm over you and your hard-luck face,
Come on over, see my new place.
And, pick up your boxes, I need the space.

I get the car, you get the truck,
I get the chicken, you get the duck.
I get the pots, you get the pans,
I get the blue box, you get the cans.
I get the couch with the pull-out bed,
You get the twelve-speed we kept in the shed.
I packed all our stuff, divided by two.
So, come on over, I'm over you.


[“Halfa this is yours too. Come on over”]

I get the coffee, you get the tea,
I get the radio, you get the TV.
I get the shoes, you get the clothes,
I get the garden, you get the hose.
I get the dress shirts and all of my pants,
You get the song, you get the dance.
I packed all our stuff, divided by two.
So, come on over, I'm over you.

I get some money back, you get your purse,
I get my freedom, you get the curse.
I get the roof tops you get the floor,
I get my leg room you get the door.
I get the high road, a bottle of wine,
You get the low road and half of what's mine.
I packed all our stuff, divided by two.
So, come on over, I'm over you.

Optional -

I get the helo pad, you get the yacht,
I get the gold bars, you get the stock.
I get the time-share in Boca Raton,
You get the mansion, the five acre lawn.
I get the Bentley, the cottage in France,
You get the beach house, the long picket fence.
Whatever we dreamed I divided by two.
Now, come on over, I'm over you.

GAH

***

Yeah, like the Bentley is ever going to happen.

Click here to read my latest column in The Londoner

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Monday, August 10, 2009

Blue Moon

Backgrounder: “I wrote this song while going through a ‘Bill Monroe bluegrass’ phase. All I need to do now is learn how to play the mandolin or banjo.” gaharrison

Blue Moon

1. Borrowed two dollars from my mother,
borrowed five dollars from my pa.
Said the money was for groceries.
Instead, I spent it at the mall.
Borrowed ten dollars from my sister,
borrowed twenty from my gal,
Said the money paid my heat bill.
Instead, went drinking with a pal.

Chorus:

2. Blue moon shining in my window,
blue moon shining on the wall.
I’m sitting all alone at midnight,
Wondering why folks never call.
Blue moon shining in my window,
blue moon shining on the wall,
I lay down thinking of my loved ones,
they don't pay me mind at all.


["Blue moon shining in my window...": GAH]

3. Borrowed fifty from my brother,
borrowed a 'C' from Uncle Jack,
Said I had to buy a new suit,
had a job down at the track.
Borrowed two hundred from my grandma,
the same from a guy I met,
Said I had a sure-fire venture,
Translated means one final bet.

4. That last guy came back for his money,
I said, "I'm tapped out, my son."
He tapped me once, he tapped me twice,
he tapped me three times with his gun.
Borrowed two dollars from my mother,
borrowed five dollars from my pa.
Said, "I need a blood transfusion."
Haven't seen them since the fall.

Optional:

5. I lay here thinking of my loved ones,
they haven’t come by for awhile.
The nurses think that I’m an orphan,
they don’t ever see me smile.
I guess you shouldn’t borrow money,
not if you want to have a friend
When you’re walking through the valley,
when you’re getting near the end.

gah

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Tuesday, August 4, 2009

A Dark, Cheap Motel

Backgrounder: “A lot of people seem to write songs about drinking too much whisky or beer. Why is that? I can’t speak for the others, but over the years I’ve learned that heavy drinkers spread a lot of pain around.” gaharrison

A Dark, Cheap Motel

1, I spent the night in a dark, cheap motel
'Cause I lost the keys to my house.
Once I stayed three days at a strange trailer park,
I forgot the name of my spouse.

Chorus:

Well, I don't drink lots but I sure pick my spots,
That's why I ended up here.
I must confess I should drink a lot less,
Or switch to low alcohol beer.


2. I spent the night in a dark, cheap motel,
For awhile I slept out in the hall.
I'd ordered a round, had the cash in my hand,
That's the last I seem to recall.

3. I spent the night in a dark, cheap motel,
I think on the downside of town.
A new friend from the bar took care of my car,
Which someday still may be found.

4. I spent the night in a dark, cheap motel,
I paid with my new Mastercard.
When I finally get home no more will I roam,
I sure make this life so hard.

gah

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Sunday, August 2, 2009

Bowling Shoe Blues

Backgrounder: “I think this is the first rhyming poem I put together that I intended to sing publicly. I can still remember the tune. As a participant in a summer course for teachers I had to come up with a short presentation for some reason or other and Bowling Shoe Blues was born. I think I ended up standing in front of a class in my Speedo singing Yellow Submarine with three other guys. Truth be told, we didn’t win any prizes.” gaharrison

Bowling Shoe Blues

1. Why just the other day I went bowling with Ray,
We met a couple fine ladies and I knew right away,
That one girl was for me, I fell in love don’t you see,
Now every Tuesday night I like to bowl with Lucy.
I put both shoes in the closet. One’s gone - I musta los’ it.
I got the black and white, one red stripe bowling shoe blues.

Chorus:

I got the bowling shoe blues, I got the bowling shoe blues,
I got the black white red stripe bowling shoe blues.
Bowling shoe blues, bowling shoe blues,
I got the black white red stripe bowling shoe blues.
I put them both in the closet. One’s gone - I musta los’ it.
I got the black and white, one red stripe bowling shoe blues.


2. Ray is honking at the gate, he doesn’t like to be late.
He’s got a girlfriend too and so he doesn’t want to wait.
Oh what can I do? I’m starting to stew.
I’m going to miss my girl ‘cause I can’t find my shoe.
I put them both in the closet. One’s gone - I musta los’ it.
I got the black and white, one red stripe bowling shoe blues.

3. I picked one shoe off the floor and I ran out the door,
I want to see my Lucy so can’t look anymore.
Ray had left with his truck I got such terrible luck,
So I ran down the block in one shoe and one sock.
I put them both in the closet. One’s gone - I musta los’ it.
I got the black and white, one red stripe bowling shoe blues.

4. Finally got to the lanes, Lucy started to complain,
“I don’t like getting stood up,” she said, “I hope that is plain.”
Then she looked at my feet, I told the story complete,
And now she’s hugging me and saying, “Hey, ain’t he sweet!”
I put them both in the closet. One’s gone - I musta los’ it.
I got the black and white, one red stripe bowling shoe blues.

GAH

***

No great loss, eh? Yellow Submarine wins.

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