Prose: Nature’s solace, alone time

7 a.m.
this morning one duck sails south
past the dock, so quietly

last night
a group of seven
a tight-knit band
plied the same waters
and earlier
eleven braved the channel
alive with motored crafts at the time
all shapes and sizes
but none as at home
as this lone duck

7:02 a.m.
it's time for quiet thoughts
time to listen to a line
or verse of nature's prose
writ upon a breeze


["It's time for quiet thoughts... writ upon a breeze": photos GH]

more fishermen will start
their engines soon and rattle by
then the daily din
of more human enterprise
will hold sway and chase
the wary ducks away

but now, with one duck
disappearing from view
it's time for nature's breath
to tell another tale.

gah

***

Please click here for a closer look at a few trees.

.

Get Off of My Porch

Backgrounder: “I’m very, very surprised someone has not written a song exactly like this because terrible things - like those in the song - happen every weekend, if not every single day of the week. Not at my house, mind you, but somewhere. Use my porch if you need to brush somebody off.” gaharrison

Get Off of My Porch

1. You said that you didn’t love me,
You said you found someone new.
You said ‘cause I was your best friend
I should be happy for you.

Chorus;

Get offa my porch, stop your knockin’,
Nobody’s home, go away.
Leave me alone, I’m hurtin’,
(Or... lights are down low for a reason.)
I’ll come outside another day.


["Hey. You. Get off-a my porch!"]

2. I said you were sadly mistaken,
‘Cause I wasn’t happy at all.
I said, “I’ll be pining away, Dear,
All summer and into the fall.”

3. You said the first kiss was pleasure,
You said the last kiss was fun.
I thought the first kiss was treasure,
The last kiss - my heart came undone.

gah

***

Everyday something exactly like this happens.

Maybe I'm just the first one to sing about it - happily.

.

Sorry I Kept You Waiting

Backgrounder: “I’d like to say that this song was 100 per cent from my imagination, but I’d be lying. I used to like to stay late at parties, be the last one to go, not think too much about my wife’s feelings. I’m almost cured of all my bad habits, thanks to lessons learned along the way. (Though I still have a few big bad habits to work on still.” gaharrison

Sorry I Kept You Waiting

1. You said, “Let’s be home by eleven.”
You had work the next day.
I had several too many,
usually that is the way.
We got to the car after midnight
and after I shut your door,
I said, “Gonna go get my jacket.”
I meant, gonna have couple more.
I said, “Gonna go get my jacket.”
I meant, gonna have couple more.


Chorus:

Sorry I kept you waiting,
sitting alone in the car.
Sorry I kept you waiting,
I stayed for last round at the bar.
Oh, I’ll try to be more reliable,
I’ll try to be more aware.
Sorry I kept you waiting,
I came out and you weren’t there.
Sorry I kept you waiting,
sorry I kept you waiting,
sorry I kept you waiting.
I came out and you weren’t there.

2. You waited for over an hour,
hopin’ I’d show up real soon.
You listened to music ‘bout lovers,
while watchin’ the silvery moon.
You thought of workin’ next morning,
called a cab on your cell.
You thought about having a future,
rather than livin’ in hell.
You thought about having a future,
rather than livin’ in hell.

3. I finally staggered outside, Dear,
I knew I’d be facin’ some heat.
Found your door was wide open,
my jacket was thrown in the street.
You listened to radio music,
so my battery’s dead for the day.
But more than my car needs a rescue,
and a boost from ol’ Triple A.
More than my car needs a rescue,
and a boost from ol’ Triple A.

gaharrison

.

Weezie's Love Was Easy

Backgrounder: “While travelling north to Espanola several years ago with friend Don Kelly, I spotted ‘Weezie loves Jennifer’ spray-painted on a rock face near the edge of Highway 6. Soon thereafter I saw Weezie’s name again with another girl’s. Then again. Settle down, Weezie, I thought. Or leave town.” gaharrison

Weezie's Love Was Easy

1. Driving north on Highway Six,
Little Current's just the same,
Miles of granite, piles of stone,
and kids like to paint their names.
Rock flies passed, I see the paint,
read a name or two,
read a boy has loved and lost.
I'm sure this story's true.
I'm sure this story's true.


["Why does everybody love Weezie?"]

Chorus:

Weezie's love was easy,
cold granite never lies.
Five girls in love with Weezie,
but it doesn't pay to advertise.
First time that you paint the stone
love surely feels so fine.
By the time you paint number four,
love has lost its shine.
Love has lost its shine.

2. I saw "Weezie loves Jennifer"
sprayed with hearts and flowers.
I soon thought that love ran cold,
suffered rain and showers.
'Cause farther down Highway 6
I saw Weezie's name again.
A different rock, a different girl.
Jennifer was gone (repeat).

3. I saw "Weezie loves Lorraine"
sprayed with bright red hearts.
I soon thought love had hit the skids,
suffered fits and starts.
'Cause down the road, upon the stone,
saw Weezie tried again.
Another rock, another girl.
There was no Lorraine (repeat).

4. I saw "Weezie loves Beth Anne"
sprayed with blue and gold.
But one more mile, one more name,
Weezie's love got old.
I then recalled the loves I lost
I never wrote in stone.
And though he painted several names,
Weezie's all alone (repeat).

gaharrison

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Lovers Stand On Every Corner

Backgrounder: “I don’t have a recollection of any incident that sparked this song. Maybe my wife didn’t pay for coffees one morning at The Little Red Roaster in Wortley Village and I got all pouty and hurt. Maybe I have an over-active imagination.” gaharrison

Lovers Stand On Every Corner

Verse 1. Saw you walking passed my door,
went to call but then I swore,
we can’t return to where we’ve been,
and life’s too short to open up that wound again.
Saw you at our old café,
couldn’t find the words to say,
like, let’s just have an easy talk and not get close
and open up that wound again.


Chorus:

Lovers, stand on every corner,
remind me of what might have been.
Words I’ve never said
have opened up that wound again.
Alone now, my head is on your pillow,
knowing there’s no answer
to things that I’ve done wrong.
Mistakes that I have made
have opened up that wound again.

2. Walked behind you to your street,
inched along on silent feet.
I practiced words, found a few.
But can words help us open up our hearts again?
Shuffled home, went to the phone.
Could one call just bring you home,
and stir our minds to better times?
But can words help us open up our hearts again?

Saw you walking passed my door,
went to call then I swore,
we can’t return to where we’d been,
life’s too short to open up that wound again.
Saw you at our old café, couldn’t find the words to say.

gah

Please click here to read this week’s column.

.

You Got Away

Backgrounder: “This song was written about ten years ago and was inspired only by my imagination. My wife likely wondered at the time why I would ever go to a laundromat because we had a perfectly good washing machine and dryer in the basement. I think it’s the kind of song Roy Orbison would have enjoyed singing.” gaharrison

You Got Away

Verse 1. I saw you first time at the laundromat,
I was a bit too nervous to start to chat.
But our eyes held while you folded sheets,
My shirt got damp from my body heat.

2. I spoke to you first at the corner store,
You’re arms were full so I held the door.
I asked if you’d like a coffee one day.
You said, it’s hard, then you walked away.


Chorus:

I was trying real hard but you got away,
I’ll try again soon some other day.
It’s so hard to act cool when my hands get hot,
You’re tougher to forget than I ever thought.

3. When I saw you next you were with a guy.
You said, it’s still hard, if I read your eye.
At the laundromat I saw you fold his shirts,
Don’t know why but that still hurts.

4. I can’t help but keep watching you,
You’re everywhere, on my mind it’s true.
I keep rehearsing romantic scenes,
And you’re the main star in my nightly dreams.

gah

Please click here to read my latest column.

.

Since You Left Me

Backgrounder: “I’ve been married for almost 40 years and can only imagine what it would be like living alone after a breakup. I think it would be pretty tough, even for a day. And that’s all the time considered in this song - one day - from sun up to sundown, from the time coffee was turned on until dirty boots were kicked off.” gah

Since You Left Me

Verse 1. There’s no one around as the sun’s coming up,
Nobody stirs when I drink my first cup,
Nobody joins me as I’m washing up, since you left me.
There’s no one around since you left me.
There’s no one who asks, is that a smile or a frown?
Nobody asks, can’t you put that job down?
Nobody says, hey, let’s head into town, since you left me.
Not much goes on since you left me.

Chorus:

I’m ready to listen and hear what you say,
Since you headed straight out the door.
And I’m ready to stop having all my own way
since you left me.
It’s one empty house since you left me.


2. There’s no one around while I throw in some hay,
Nobody cooks when I stop at noonday
Nobody hollers, cold drink’s on the way, since you left me.
There’s no one around since you left me.
There’s no one who says, you’ve been working real hard,
Nobody says, I put gas in the car.
Nobody says, you should call your Pa, since you left me.
Not much goes on since you left me.

3. There’s no one around as the sun’s going down,
Nobody turns when I throw my boots down,
Nobody laughs when I act like a clown, since you left me.
There’s no one around since you left me.
There’s no one who asks, how’s it going out there?
Nobody reminds me, put a comb through your hair.
Nobody sighs, don’t you love that fresh air, since you left me.
Not much goes on since you left me.

gah

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My Restless Heart

Background: “After I learned a fourth chord on my guitar I branched out, got all fancy., and wrote a few songs a travelling man might sing. With my voice it’s important to know the way outta town.” gaharrison

My Restless Heart

1. I took a job in Kansas City,
I swept some floors and motel halls.
I soon moved on to better times,
I cleaned some basements, painted walls.

Chorus:

But when I earn a million dollars,
My restless heart will take some rest.
Might get it in my mind to come back home,
If I could settle down with you.

2. I took a job in Colorado,
I packed some bags and cut some hair.
I soon moved on to better times,
I sold some brooms and cooking ware.

3. I took a job in California,
I washed up dishes at a bar.
I soon moved on to better times,
I pumped some gas and sold some cars.

4. I travelled back to where I started,
I took a job just down your street.
I’ll soon move on to better times,
Don’t think there’s any chance we’ll meet.
But when I earn my million dollars,
My restless heart will take some rest.
Might get it in my mind to stay at home,
If I could settle down with you.

gah

.

Another Hit Single: Life in the Great Big City

Backgrounder: “I wrote this one so long ago I can’t recall if there was an incident I was witness to (or involved in) that prompted me to write this brilliant piece. However, after listening to a CBC Radio program yesterday re behaviours that occur on Toronto’s mass transit system I thought I’d dust it off.” gaharrison

Life in the Great Big City

1. My first trip to the city, got off the train,
Two guys said, “Can you spare a dime?”
I bent right down to open my pack,
Woke up next day flat on my back.
A policeman said, “Don’t look for pity!
Welcome to life in the great big city.”

Chorus:

Well, I lost my pants and my underwears,
I got roughed up, thrown down some stairs.
I lost my watch, some hard-earned money,
I’m almost naked, it ain’t even funny.
Policeman said, “Don’t look for pity!
Welcome to life in the great big city.”

2. I went to a movie, sat in the front row,
my neck was stiff after the show.
Went outside, could only look down.
Those two guys came back, throwed me around.
I cried for help, the crowd cried at me,
“Welcome to life in the great big city!”

3. Took a city bus, in Good Will pants,
spoke to a girl, thought I’d take a chance.
“’Scuse me, Miss, you got the time?”
She stole the rest of my stuff, left me one thin dime.
Yelled at the driver, he yelled at me.
“Welcome to life in the great big city!”

4. I used my dime, and phoned my Dad.
I heard his voice, I was really glad.
“It’s tough up here. What will I do?”
“It’s not my call. What will you do?”
I went for a walk, it dawned on me.
“Welcome to life in the great big city!”

gah

.

I Was the Last One To Go

Backgrounder: “I like cleaning up after parties and am usually the last one to go home. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.” gaharrison

I Was the Last One To Go

1. You called me last week, said, “Come over at nine.”
And if I had time, call a few friends of mine.
We planned to stay in, maybe watch some TV,
But after my friends left, I said, “Please dance with me.”

Chorus:

I was the last one to go, I was the last one to go,
We had the house to ourselves, no more movies to show.
You said, “Sure, we’ll dance when we put things away,
I was the last one to go, after you had your way.


2. We cleaned up the kitchen and filled up the sink,
These dishes won’t take long, I started to think.
But for each one I washed you brought even more,
Then you found all the dishes I hid behind the door.

3. I poured more hot water and started to clean,
I rolled up my sleeves, I was a scrubbing machine.
You said you’d be waiting for me to get done,
But I found you asleep as up came the sun.

4. I gave you a shake and you looked up at me
And said, “Who are you?” I said, “Hey, it’s me.”
“The last dish has been washed, and of that there’s no doubt.”
“Thanks a heck of a lot,” you said. “Now let yourself out.”

I was the last one to go, I was the last one to go,
We had the house to ourselves, no more movies to show.
You said, “Sure, we’ll dance when we put things away,
I was the last one to go, after you had your way.

GAH

Come On Over, I'm Over You

Backgrounder: “My wife and I have gone through hard times but never hard enough to end in divorce. Thirty-nines years later I still say, she’s a keeper. Her thoughts on the matter? I’m not exactly sure, but I bet it's half good. This song was written as a bit of fun about an unfunny topic.” gaharrison

Come On Over, I'm Over You

I get the pet dog, you get the cat,
I get the pet mouse, you get the rat.
I get the parakeet, you get the cage,
I get the parsley, you get the sage.
I get the whiskey I like to drink,
You get the Tupperware under the sink.
I packed all our stuff, divided by two.
So, come on over, I'm over you.

Chorus:

Come on over, I said we’re through.
Come on over, it’s sad but true.
I'm over you and your cold embrace,
I'm over you and your hard-luck face,
Come on over, see my new place.
And, pick up your boxes, I need the space.

I get the car, you get the truck,
I get the chicken, you get the duck.
I get the pots, you get the pans,
I get the blue box, you get the cans.
I get the couch with the pull-out bed,
You get the twelve-speed we kept in the shed.
I packed all our stuff, divided by two.
So, come on over, I'm over you.


[“Halfa this is yours too. Come on over”]

I get the coffee, you get the tea,
I get the radio, you get the TV.
I get the shoes, you get the clothes,
I get the garden, you get the hose.
I get the dress shirts and all of my pants,
You get the song, you get the dance.
I packed all our stuff, divided by two.
So, come on over, I'm over you.

I get some money back, you get your purse,
I get my freedom, you get the curse.
I get the roof tops you get the floor,
I get my leg room you get the door.
I get the high road, a bottle of wine,
You get the low road and half of what's mine.
I packed all our stuff, divided by two.
So, come on over, I'm over you.

Optional -

I get the helo pad, you get the yacht,
I get the gold bars, you get the stock.
I get the time-share in Boca Raton,
You get the mansion, the five acre lawn.
I get the Bentley, the cottage in France,
You get the beach house, the long picket fence.
Whatever we dreamed I divided by two.
Now, come on over, I'm over you.

GAH

***

Yeah, like the Bentley is ever going to happen.

Click here to read my latest column in The Londoner

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Blue Moon

Backgrounder: “I wrote this song while going through a ‘Bill Monroe bluegrass’ phase. All I need to do now is learn how to play the mandolin or banjo.” gaharrison

Blue Moon

1. Borrowed two dollars from my mother,
borrowed five dollars from my pa.
Said the money was for groceries.
Instead, I spent it at the mall.
Borrowed ten dollars from my sister,
borrowed twenty from my gal,
Said the money paid my heat bill.
Instead, went drinking with a pal.

Chorus:

2. Blue moon shining in my window,
blue moon shining on the wall.
I’m sitting all alone at midnight,
Wondering why folks never call.
Blue moon shining in my window,
blue moon shining on the wall,
I lay down thinking of my loved ones,
they don't pay me mind at all.


["Blue moon shining in my window...": GAH]

3. Borrowed fifty from my brother,
borrowed a 'C' from Uncle Jack,
Said I had to buy a new suit,
had a job down at the track.
Borrowed two hundred from my grandma,
the same from a guy I met,
Said I had a sure-fire venture,
Translated means one final bet.

4. That last guy came back for his money,
I said, "I'm tapped out, my son."
He tapped me once, he tapped me twice,
he tapped me three times with his gun.
Borrowed two dollars from my mother,
borrowed five dollars from my pa.
Said, "I need a blood transfusion."
Haven't seen them since the fall.

Optional:

5. I lay here thinking of my loved ones,
they haven’t come by for awhile.
The nurses think that I’m an orphan,
they don’t ever see me smile.
I guess you shouldn’t borrow money,
not if you want to have a friend
When you’re walking through the valley,
when you’re getting near the end.

gah

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A Dark, Cheap Motel

Backgrounder: “A lot of people seem to write songs about drinking too much whisky or beer. Why is that? I can’t speak for the others, but over the years I’ve learned that heavy drinkers spread a lot of pain around.” gaharrison

A Dark, Cheap Motel

1, I spent the night in a dark, cheap motel
'Cause I lost the keys to my house.
Once I stayed three days at a strange trailer park,
I forgot the name of my spouse.

Chorus:

Well, I don't drink lots but I sure pick my spots,
That's why I ended up here.
I must confess I should drink a lot less,
Or switch to low alcohol beer.


2. I spent the night in a dark, cheap motel,
For awhile I slept out in the hall.
I'd ordered a round, had the cash in my hand,
That's the last I seem to recall.

3. I spent the night in a dark, cheap motel,
I think on the downside of town.
A new friend from the bar took care of my car,
Which someday still may be found.

4. I spent the night in a dark, cheap motel,
I paid with my new Mastercard.
When I finally get home no more will I roam,
I sure make this life so hard.

gah

.

She Had a Safety Pin

Backgrounder: “This song was inspired by a movie about a May - December romance. At least, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Anyway, the song isn’t about me and a younger woman because I’ve never worked for ‘Al’s Plumbing’. And I don’t bowl five-pin anymore. But if I did...” G.A. Harrison

She Had a Safety Pin

1. She saw me sitting at the bowling alley
and aimed her question at me.
"Do you make house-calls this time of night?"
"For you ma'am, yessiree."
I paid my tab, she tugged my arm
and asked me about my fee.
"I had some luck at five-pin tonight
so for you ma'am, tonight is free."

Chorus:

She had a safety pin stuck in her cheek
and I had a rip in my jeans.
I'd like to say it was love at first sight
but I don't know what that means.
She had a safety pin stuck in her cheek
and I had a rip in my jeans.
And I'm going to say that I had more fun
than a boy who was in his teens.


2. I grabbed my keys, we left Fleetwood Bowl,
and I offered her a ride.
"I only live, like, two blocks away.
We can walk there fast," she sighed.
She set a quick pace, I followed behind.
"Why don't we run?" I cried.
I took the lead for about thirty steps
but my lungs almost burst inside.

3. She said, "Over here, you crazy old man,
this is my place on the right."
My neck was hot and my shirt was wet,
I must have looked a sight.
But she said, "Come in, I'll lead the way,
first I'll just get the light.
My bathroom's down this narrow hall,
and, man, I need a bath tonight."

4. I was about to say a bath was okay
when she pointed to the drain.
"I'm glad you plumbers were bowlin’ tonight
‘cause for these things I have no brain."
I recalled then the ad on my shirt,
'Al's Plumbing', of local fame.
I rolled up my sleeves, gave the plunger a heave,
that was the end of the game.

gah

.

Prose: You Thought it was Hallowe’en

Backgrounder: “While looking for an old wedding photo I found this piece of prose from my university days. It was published in The Gazette (University of Western Ontario) on Feb. 14, 1969, and bears some truth, though it isn’t a very fitting sentiment for Valentines Day. It contains my first reference to whisky, but not my last.” gaharrison


["My university days": March, 1969]

you thought it was Hallowe’en

you thought it was Hallowe’en
all last month.
ever since I first met you,
I thought you were all
dressed up for nothing.

the unmasking took place last
night, and you looked quite
pretty without your mask.

but you were not what
the game had called for.


[Artwork - Tom Rossiter: photo GAH]

(Hallowe’en was over and
the two went tripping home
with an empty bottle of scotch
under their arm,
and when all the ghosts
and night creatures began to play,
she melted into their midst.)

I have not heard from you,
or seen you, since.

GAH

.

I Don’t Have to Say Nothing Again

Backgrounder: “This was the first song I sang in front of a microphone. Even though it was recorded in a friend’s basement I was as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof. Thankfully, my friend is a monster guitar player and made the production sound pretty good. The song itself is from the imagination only.” gaharrison

I Don’t Have to Say Nothing Again

1. I don’t have to tell you you’re special,
I don’t have to tell you I care.
I don’t have to say
you look pretty tonight,
and I like what you’ve done with your hair.
I don’t have to call you my sweetheart,
or say I’ll be true to the end.
‘Cause you’re spending your time
with somebody else,
I don’t have to say nothing again.

Chorus:

No, nothing again, nothing again,
I don’t have to say nothing again.
‘Cause you’re spending your time
with somebody else,
I don’t have to say nothing again.


["This floozie broke my heart": courtesy photo link to Fortune's Pawn]

2. I don’t have to tell you I’m lonely,
and pick up the phone now and then.
I don’t have to tell you
I’m hoping ‘gainst hope,
you’ll stop dancing with the boys in the band.
I don’t have to say that you broke my heart
by sleeping with some other man.
I don’t have to tell you,
you drove us apart,
I don’t have to say nothing again.

3. I don’t have to tell you I’m crazy,
and forgive all the things that you’ve done.
I don’t have to tell you
I’m trying real hard
To find ways that we can have fun.
I don’t have to tell you I need you,
and want you to come home tonight.
I don’t have to tell you
that I still love you.
I don’t have to say nothing again.

GAH

.

My Life Without You

Backgrounder: “It sounds like I carry around a heavy load of regret. I don’t. I occasionally remember times (like most people, I'm sure) when I could have been a better person, and reflect on what the absolute worst consequences might have been. Also, I know several people who have gone through a divorce, and it ain't pretty.” gaharrison

1. I don’t know why
I’m all set to cry about you.
I don’t know how
I care ‘bout you now like I do.
I must confess
I never guessed that you’d walk out the door.
I failed to see
what my life would be without you.


I won’t get a chance
to have one last dance or hold you.
I won’t hear our song
and then sing along without you.
I didn’t believe
you’d ever leave and never return.
I failed to see
what my life would be without you.

Chorus:

Now I live all alone
in a old country home without you.
The phone doesn’t ring,
I can’t hear birds sing without you.
When I go for a walk
I miss how we talked like so many times before.
I failed to see
what my life would be without you.

2. Now that you’ve gone
not much gets done without you.
Life doesn’t seem fair
and I don’t really care what I do.
Night seems to come fast
and I dream it’s the last that I’ll sleep all alone.
I failed to see
what my life would be without you.

GAH

.

Lordie Lordie

Backgrounder: “I love singing this song. It comes from my desire to be a good egg and keep the peace at home for another 38 years.” gaharrison

1. You ended my life,
then twisted the knife,
Left me nothing but pain.
I was down on my luck,
you stole off in my truck
And shacked up with my brother again.
When I laid down my head,
on our half empty bed,
It smelled like the scene of the crime.
Hanky-panky, I swear it’s the end of the line.


[My younger brother and I. Sure, he looks harmless enough: circa 1953]

Chorus:

Lordie Lordie, I sure drank a snoot-full tonight.
Lordie Lordie, I sure look a horrible sight.
I fell down some stairs,
ripped my new underwears,
And I smell like cheap whisky and beer.
Lordie Lordie, it’s been the worst night of the year.

2. I fell in with friends,
who’d met similar ends,
And had pockets as deep as a well.
They said, “Our love-life stinks
so we’re buying the drinks.”
I said, “Guys, your plan suits me well.”
We emptied the kegs
into our hollow legs,
The police had to settle us down,
Heebee-geebees, I woke up ten miles outta town.

3. Stumbled ‘round until three,
barely able to see,
Still troubled you slept with my kin.
But I’ve made my mistakes
and there’s more that I’ll make,
So can we start over again?
Please come back tonight,
you know I won’t bite,
I’ll make you feel right at home.
Holy-moley, I don’t want to end up alone.

GAH

.