I Won’t Be Drinking Whisky Anymore

Backgrounder: “Boozers ran in my family. Most are now dry or passed away, but I am filled with sadness when I recall my mother’s story about the day she lost her father due to his years of hard drinking. I lost a few school and work days as a young man due to terrible hangovers - and that was enough for me. ‘Everything in moderation,’ as my mother used to say.” gaharrison

I Won’t Be Drinking Whisky Anymore

Verse 1. I won’t be drinking whisky anymore.
I won’t be drinking whisky anymore.
I’ll put my glass down and head into town and try to find a job.
I won’t be drinking hard whisky anymore.


2. I won’t be singing songs all through the night (repeat).
I’ll put my glass down and head into town and try to find a job.
I won’t be singing my sad songs all through the night.

3. I won’t be yelling words that cuss your name (repeat).
I’ll put my glass down and head into town and try to find a job.
I won’t be yelling loud words that cuss your name.

4. I’ll try to bring you home a steady pay (repeat).
I’ll put my glass down and head into town and try to find a job.
I’ll try to bring you home some steady pay.

5. I’ll save up hard, buy you a summer dress (repeat).
I’ll put my glass down and head into town and try to find a job.
I’ll save up hard, buy you a new summer dress.

6. I won’t be drinking whisky anymore (repeat).
I’ll put my glass down and head into town and try to find a job.
I won’t be drinking hard whisky anymore.

gah

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The Poor Boy Blues

Backgrounder: "The following song came to me while watching the local news last Tuesday night. I must have been suffering a fever because while nursing verses together my wife heard me cry out, where's Kate Young? Where's Kate Young?" gaharrison

Poor Boy with The Poor Boy Blues

1. I’m tired of buying groceries
from the ninety-nine cent aisle.
I’m tired of buying canned goods
that been dented for awhile.
I’d like to buy some new shoes
that seem to fit my feet.
I’d like folks to smile at me
like I’m on Easy Street...

Chorus:

...But I’m a poor boy,
But I’m a poor boy,
But I’m a poor, poor boy,
And I’ve got the poor boy blues.


2. I’m tired of eating wieners
without a shred of beef.
I’m tired of eating cabbages
with holes in every leaf.
I’d like to eat a slice of bread
that's not from the bargain bin.
And I’d like to eat a supper
that's just not a can of beans.

3. I’m tired of getting stuck in line
at each recession sale.
Sometimes I feel as useless
as a mop without a pail.
I’d like to trade my low-wage job
for one that is full time.
And then I’d buy a piece of steak
an’ not the Salisbury kind...

4. I’m tired of buying packages
someone else has opened first.
I’m tired of buying the cheapest beer
to help me quench my thirst.
I’d like to buy some new jeans
with a well-known label on,
And I’d like to have an extra ten
and a girl to spend it on...

gah

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I Ain’t the Bank

Backgrounder: “All my cracks about The Small Economy actually led to a brilliant song. No, my lovely wife doesn’t spend all my money. Some days it just enters my mind that we should buff up our savings account.” gaharrison

I Ain’t the Bank

1. Don’t spend my money, honey, I ain’t the bank.
Don’t spend my money, honey, ‘cause I’ve got you to thank...
For driving us to the poorhouse, straight down the 401.
You bought a big car, an SUV, you thought it’d be great fun.
Payments bigger than my cheque, well, this ain’t fun for me...so...
Don’t spend my money, honey, this ain’t fun for me.


["Even our cows look poor": photo GAH]

2. Don’t spend my money, honey, I ain’t the bank.
Don’t spend my money, honey, ‘cause I’ve got you to thank...
You drove my credit rating, straight down the 402.
You bought a house, with four bathrooms, less would never do.
I really never pee that much, you have spelled our doom...so...
Don’t spend my money, honey, you have spelled our doom.

3. Don’t spend my money, honey, I ain’t the bank.
Don’t spend my money, honey, ‘cause I’ve got you to thank...
You drove my little nest-egg, straight down the 403.
You filled our house with so much stuff, four big-screen TV’s.
I work so hard, no time to eat, you’re making my life rough...so...
Don’t spend my money, honey, you’re making my life rough.

4. Don’t spend my money, honey, I ain’t the bank.
Don’t spend my money, honey, ‘cause I’ve got you to thank...
You drove my small inher’tance, down Highway 404.
You bought new carpets and new drapes, I’ll have to work some more.
Can’t keep up with what you buy, our bank book’s in bad shape...so...
Stop spending money, honey, my bank book’s in bad shape.

5. Stop spending money, honey, I ain’t the bank.
Stop spending money, honey, ‘cause I’ve got you to thank...
You drove us to the poorhouse, down Highway 405.
You had another spending spree, I won’t get out alive,
I wonder if you’ve ever heard, that the best in life is free.
Stop spending money, honey, the best in life is free.

GAH

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