I Ain’t the Bank

Backgrounder: “All my cracks about The Small Economy actually led to a brilliant song. No, my lovely wife doesn’t spend all my money. Some days it just enters my mind that we should buff up our savings account.” gaharrison

I Ain’t the Bank

1. Don’t spend my money, honey, I ain’t the bank.
Don’t spend my money, honey, ‘cause I’ve got you to thank...
For driving us to the poorhouse, straight down the 401.
You bought a big car, an SUV, you thought it’d be great fun.
Payments bigger than my cheque, well, this ain’t fun for me...so...
Don’t spend my money, honey, this ain’t fun for me.


["Even our cows look poor": photo GAH]

2. Don’t spend my money, honey, I ain’t the bank.
Don’t spend my money, honey, ‘cause I’ve got you to thank...
You drove my credit rating, straight down the 402.
You bought a house, with four bathrooms, less would never do.
I really never pee that much, you have spelled our doom...so...
Don’t spend my money, honey, you have spelled our doom.

3. Don’t spend my money, honey, I ain’t the bank.
Don’t spend my money, honey, ‘cause I’ve got you to thank...
You drove my little nest-egg, straight down the 403.
You filled our house with so much stuff, four big-screen TV’s.
I work so hard, no time to eat, you’re making my life rough...so...
Don’t spend my money, honey, you’re making my life rough.

4. Don’t spend my money, honey, I ain’t the bank.
Don’t spend my money, honey, ‘cause I’ve got you to thank...
You drove my small inher’tance, down Highway 404.
You bought new carpets and new drapes, I’ll have to work some more.
Can’t keep up with what you buy, our bank book’s in bad shape...so...
Stop spending money, honey, my bank book’s in bad shape.

5. Stop spending money, honey, I ain’t the bank.
Stop spending money, honey, ‘cause I’ve got you to thank...
You drove us to the poorhouse, down Highway 405.
You had another spending spree, I won’t get out alive,
I wonder if you’ve ever heard, that the best in life is free.
Stop spending money, honey, the best in life is free.

GAH

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Don’t Call Me Late for Supper, Mabelene

Backgrounder: “This song was inspired a few years ago by a simple Lyle Lovett tune, though I forget which one. My wife is partial to his tunes so I tried to put a song together she would like. I succeeded on two counts - we both like it.” gaharrison

1. We met at an old country store.
I packed her bags and held open the door.
Well, we started to chat,
I learned her name after that.
Oh, Mabelene was a dish and much more.

One day I walked her back to her house.
Her folks were gone, we held hands on the porch.
I got lost in her eyes,
and two slices of pie,
And the smell of perfume in her hair.


["Elderberry pie - the way to my heart.": photo link]
Chorus:

Don’t call me late for supper, Mabelene.
You are the sweetest girl I’ve ever seen.
You sure are good-looking
and I love what you’re cooking.
Don’t call me late for supper, Mabelene.

2. We got married when we were nineteen.
Her Mama said, “Boy, don’t you treat her mean.”
I said, “You count on me.”
That was 1963.
I can’t live without my Mabelene.

At home she’s in charge of the food.
If I cook it don’t taste half as good.
When Mabelene fills my plate,
a big smile fills my face.
She’s the best cook in our neighbourhood.

3. Mabelene bought a book from Par-ee.
Each day she tries a French recipe.
I eat all I’m able
then lean across the table.
For dessert I always kiss Mabelene.

At night I kiss both of her hands.
‘Cause they taste like her strawberry jam.
And she comes to no harm
when I nibble on her arm.
Mabelene’s the sweetest girl in the land.

GAH

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Any other Lyle Lovett fans out there?

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Squirrel Stew from a Mason Jar

Backgrounder: “Last week, while building a birdhouse in my workshop, I heard a toe-tapping tune on CBC radio. The words “I eat squirrel stew from a Mason jar” popped into my head. Yesterday I teased out the following recession anthem. I think it’s brilliant.” gaharrison

1. I eat squirrel stew from a Mason jar,
Though that’s not the way things usually are.


I drive to the store in an old used car,
Can’t afford another, hope it takes me far.
Since I lost my job
the world is upside down.
Been doing more with less
like other folks in town.

Chorus:

I eat squirrel stew, I’m living small.
I buy used clothes and that’s not all.
I use a clothesline to dry my old blue jeans,
And now I know what sticking to a budget means.
I gave up BBQ-ing
because steak’s not cheap,
And what I’ve been sowing
I now must reap.

2. I made a solar oven to save on natural gas,
I cook up pots of oatmeal and make it last.
Now just like my old Papa I’ll eat anything,
I’m using Mama’s recipe for Tuna a la King.


But since I lost my job
tuna has been pretty rare.
Been doing more with less
like my closest neighbours are.

3. I bought more things on credit than I can count,
My debt was growing faster than my bank account.
Easy money flowed out of every corner bank,
For all my credit cards I have lots of folks to thank.
But since I lost my job
I’m cutting to the bone.
Been doing more with less
and I’m not alone.

GAH

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Squirrel stew, Mason jars, living small, recession... they do go together, don't they?

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